Taking life now one STEP at a Time
By Alan Rowe
Even with all of God's power behind me, if I try to walk alone, I will be devoured by the enemy. I have come to realize that I cannot do things on my own. STEP has brought accountability into my life. I am not perfect, but I am healing and growing.
My focus is shifting off of myself and onto others. (I know now) this is God's purpose for my life - to help others and to be willing to accept the fact that I need help, too. My struggles still involve all of the seven deadly sins.
- Pride - oh how I can get proud of my achievements.
- Anger - even when I focus on who I'm serving, but donšt get what I want, it still comes out.
- Greed - I still tend to forget who is in control and begin to worry that I won't have enough.
- Envy - I still look over the fence to greener grasses and bigger houses.
- Gluttony - taking in what is needed versus what tastes good is still a battle for me.
- Sloth - I still sometimes take the easy road.
- Lust - I believe this is Satan's favorite to use on men, because it relies on using God's creation to trip us up in our hearts.
In just a quick run-down, I can see my own failures, but now my thinking has been transformed and now when I fall, I rely on God to heal me.
As a young teen I had accepted Christ into my heart and became part of God's family. But, as I grew older, I drifted slowly away from Christ. I allowed small thoughts and desires to grow in my heart and in my mind. Then one day in bitterness and resentment, I used the actions of others as an excuse to walk away from God. I took control of all that God had given me and went out on my own. Over the next 15 years, I squandered the things that God had given me. I squandered my time, energy, thoughts, relationships and even my physical body. I was in control and it showed.
My life was a disaster. I was overindulging in everything and living life on the edge. One night it just all got to be way out of control and I crashed. Then, I began counseling with Roy (Conover) and started going to STEP. I began realizing I could no longer rely on my own power to battle my sins, but rather must rely on God's power and truth.
There is a poem many of you know, about footprints in the sand. Basically, what it says is that a man looked back on his life and saw the footprints he had left behind. He noticed that often there were two sets of prints, but that there were also many times when only one set of footprints is visible. Confused, he asked God to explain to him why God had abandoned him during the trying times of his life. God answered in unconditional love with his forgiving voice, "I never left, for those are the times that I was carrying you." I look back at the destruction that I brought into my life and can now see where God had never given up on me. He waited patiently for me to return to Him and I believe that He helped me along without me even knowing it.
I see where God protected me from even myself. And now that I have turned back to God, I can now see a future rather than a cloud of sin. And as many others do, I relish in the passage of Jeremiah 29:11, "For the Lord has plans for you, plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." I now have hope in God and am learning to be strong in His power, not mine.
Alan Rowe
For more information about STEP, please contact Henry Conover.
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